A family's story: Denise and Thomas
Thomas
I have gambled all my life and, with time, my addiction took control.
To maintain my addiction I lied to and stole from my family and employer. I took money from wherever I could get it - I even broke into my kids' piggy banks in a desperate attempt to get money. I couldn't concentrate on work, all I could think about was gambling. My marriage broke down - I separated from my wife and my children despised me. We had to sell our house and any equity we had in the house went to pay debts. I have tried to end it all twice.
Finally I realised that I needed help. Only because of counselling, help from Gamblers Anonymous and the Problem Gambling Foundation and my faith was I able to turn my life around and my marriage was restored.
It is a daily battle but I have been gamble free for four years.
Denise
Thomas was a gambler when I met him but I never realised how bad it could get. When we had our first child money was a bit tight - Thomas thought gambling was a way to get more money coming in to the home.
Eventually he started manipulating bank accounts so he could get to money. He even used to take money that had been sent to us and the children for birthdays or Christmas. It used to be a race to the postie as we knew that if Thomas got the money we would never see it again.
There wasn't one specific moment when I realised Thomas had a real problem - it crept up on me. Promises were made and not kept, and arguments were caused so he could justify storming out and going gambling.
I knew in the bottom of my heart that something was really wrong but I didn't quite know what to do about it. We even went to marriage counselling to try and help the relationship but because Thomas' gambling was never talked about nothing really changed.
Gambling controlled and ruled our lives. At one stage we were working for the same employer and he was stealing money from them and expecting me to pay it back. I had to be strong enough to refuse. In the end I asked Thomas to leave - which he did for two years until he finally sought help and managed to give up gambling.
We are back together now and even though we lost everything when Thomas was gambling where we are now (with Thomas not gambling) better than where we were then.